Fear of flying pleas help

[oweston12]

I have always been scared of flying. I live in California and I’m trying to get some help. I really hate to fly. I even tried to get hypnotized one time to see if it would work. Does anyone know what would help?

[kingpenguin78]

Well, first off everyone is different and everyone's fears are based on different reasons. Personally my reason was the typical 'male' issue of not being in control and not knowing what is going on in the cockpit. When I was a kid/teenager I never had a problem with flying, but as time went on and I became more observant to my own mortality, flying started to wear on me. I can pin no specific time where I suddenly became afraid of flying...

So, what is the way that I got over my issues with flying?

- I did a whole lot of research and reading into aviation, pilot training and the airline industry in general. There are many awesome sites out there on fear of flying such as Ask the Pilot, Ask Captain Lim, etc.
- I learned about how weather works, and how to read weather charts, patterns and clouds. I am still wrong about turbulence potential about 95% of the time though, i.e., it is never as rough as I think it might be.
- I went on a discovery flight in a small plane at a local airport and figured out a plan on how to get a pilots license.
- I came to the conclusion that anything bad happening was remotely small, and that driving in my car was considerably more dangerous then flying.
- I realized that turbulence is a non-issue. Even during the most extreme turbulence your risks are as close to zero as they can be if you stay buckled up.

I can't say that I am 100% cured of my issues with commercial aviation, but I am at peace with it now. I still would rather be in the cockpit of the plane so I can see what is going on, but that is never going to happen so I just have to deal with it. And really, what could I do to make a turbulent flight any better?

Just remember that it is safest and fastest mechanism for travel available to us. Turbulence will not hurt you if you are buckled up. Pilots are well trained and are able to handle any situation they are in. Aircraft maintenance is exponentially better then even the most well maintained ground vehicle. Security threats are really a non-issues.

Hope this helps!

[tb_neg]

Well said, and all true. Just convincing the left brain is a problem, sadly.

Edit: Should be right brain.

[NervyFlyer]

This is a more drastic step, but I went to a doctor after years of being worsening fear of flying. They put me on Prozac, and the next time I flew, after taking one valium I slept through the flight. Previously, even ten drinks didn't make the experience any better.

The problem was that prozac didn't agree with me in the long run, but it did improve a bit. It is possible that you have a baseline anxiety disorder that is hampering your ability to calm down. It is worth consulting someone, although I advise extreme care, as doctors tend to overprescribe drugs like this. Make sure it is someone who is well regarded.

[oweston12]

Thank you on the advice. I have tried valum as well. It does help and I do not have to get so hammered to fly. Im still working on trying to stay calm. I did find that it did help. :)

[tb_neg]

I would advise against getting too drugged up. In case of a very improbably irregular flight, like the British Airways landing, I'd rather be alert then in a fog.

[ksjhawk]

From my own experience I did two relaxation sessions and listened to the CD Flying without Fear, provided by a psychologist. I also remembered that the Lord is in control of my life and I'm not (doesn't help you if you don't believe in God). When I was single and in college, flying didn't bother me at all. I got married, it bothered me some, had kids and it turned into a nightmare. The power of the mind is amazing. I also had a terrible aborted landing in Reno in January 2005 - sunny day, blue sky, no worries, under the Skywest Canadair shuttered like heck and the right wing tip looked like it was going to hit the ground - major thrust and we were back in the air. The pilot says (calmly!) "sorry about that folks, we're going to try that again and if we can't we'll go to Sacramento". Oh, we tried again and didn't get near a far down as the 1st attempt before we shot over the Sierra Nevada to Sacramento. There was no way I was getting on a later flight to go back to Reno, so I rented a car for the 120 mile drive to Reno - that took over four hours in a blizzard, had to buy chains and pay someone $20.00 to put them on.
It's taken me 2.5 years to recover, but for now I've been doing well. This is one person's experience on what worked, but it may not work for everyone. I don't jump for joy to fly, but at least I can sleep the night before and eat before I fly - that's a far cry from what I've been through. Good luck.

[PlaneEnthusiast]

I have always been scared of flying. I live in California and I’m trying to get some help. I really hate to fly. I even tried to get hypnotized one time to see if it would work. Does anyone know what would help?

I was once a very fearful flyer. Not anymore though, and it's a liberating feeling to be able to fly and not only enjoy it, but to not even fear anything about it. I admire your courage to face flying again, and hope I can offer a little support.

There was once a time that I couldn't even think of airplanes without getting a little dizzy. This was before 2001, when it was more possible to have chats with pilots on the ground before taking off. I was amazed by their passion for flying, and their cool precision with statistics. I asked them if they ever feared flying, to which they responded "you drove to the airport, correct? That is statistically at least 30 times more dangerous than any flight." I asked them if they would ever be scared in a crashing plane, to which they replied, "we love flying so much that it wouldn't matter."

I began to learn more about what makes most people fear flying most. Turbulence is one of them, because it feels so unexpected. What we don't realize is that most turbulence is simply a motion of the plane passing through differential levels of wind patterns, resulting in a motion of only one to two inches in any direction-- that's surprising since it often feels like more. Turbulence is not dangerous to a plane-- weather planes fly directly into hurricanes all the time.

Often being on a plane feels less safe than driving, for the lack of the sense that we are in control. Don't forget though, that the pilots' lives are on the line too. They are highly trained and many started out as Air Force pilots.

Keep in mind that in the United States, every day about 34,000 scheduled commercial flights make fly between destinations without incident. At any given moment, there are several thousand airliners in the air. They are constantly in communication with each other and with the ground to devise the smoothest flying routes for passengers. All things considered though, pilots actually *look forward* to turbulence because it makes the monotony of their jobs more interesting. They often compare it to driving a truck. For every hour that a plane is in the air, it's on the ground for three, being serviced.

There are many doctors in our country, very good and caring ones, who specialize in helping people overcome their fear of flying. The one I saw is in the Boston area (I could recommend her if you wish). I thought myself to be a horrible, off-the-charts case, and totally incurable. In fact she told me that she saw far, far worse cases, and that she was 100% successful with all of them. Within two months, I was flying again without a dash of fear! ;-) She used a combination of techniques. First was information about flying. Secondly I was introduced to a variety of cognitive-behavioral self-analyses which were completely new to my thought processes.

One example is to ask yourself in real time "on a scale of one to ten, where is my anxiety level right now?" You start to see yourself outside of yourself, ie rationally instead of emotionally. It's fascinating to watch the number go up and down, and then overall, things sometimes tend to settle down.

Another technique is desensitization. Sometimes the feeling of panic itself is a snowball effect. The inability to breathe well scares us. So, I practiced breathing through a straw to induce that scary feeling. Eventually, I no longer feared it.

Fearful thoughts tend to be in terms of black and white. They often catastrophize (it's a word now :-) themselves. When you feel yourself thinking these thoughts, keep a log of them, and try to ask yourself if they are founded.

You are on the right track! Watch planes, think about them, learn about them, develop a passion for them, talk about them. They are marvelous, human creations! Look around and see all the die-hard airplane enthusiasts!

I now look forward so much to my next flight that I cannot wait to step onto my next flight. Flying is a mind-clearing, transcendental experience which gives me a feeling of elation that I do not get elsewhere.

I might add too, that paradoxically overcame my fear of flying in conjunction with an in-depth study of air crash investigations and the heroic behavior of pilots in the face of adversity. I began to realize in fact what an intensely regulated industry the aviation industry is. When making your way to your successful recovery (and yes, you will get there!) don't try to tire your mind by obsessing over which airline or airplane is your better way to go. Generally speaking, every flight is as safe or "dangerous" as the next. For example, just because one Air France jet crashed, doesn't make the next Air France jet suddenly more likely to crash.

I hope that I might have helped you in some ways, and wish I could recommend some books to you that have helped me, if you or others are interested.

In the end, it was not statistics which calmed my mind. It was the support of caring human beings who went through the same thing, and practice learning how my thoughts work. Practice deep relaxation techniques-- free podcasts such as at meditationoasis.com were of great value to me. I eventually learned to recognize one very interesting thing: an anxious mind has a nearly impossible time existing in a completely relaxed body. Continue to focus your thoughts on why you are traveling, and your destination, and the people you will enjoy meeting at the other end.

If I was able to overcome a fear of flying completely, I am convinced anybody can. You can do it! :-)

[pinworm]

I would suggest you start by not multiple posting! It will not make it any easier

[PlaneEnthusiast]

I would suggest you start by not multiple posting! It will not make it any easier

I won't take offense to that personally, though I wished to help. The way this forum is designed is that we can receive individual emails for any responses to our original threads. I noticed that many of those people posting requests for help did so some time ago and would not necessarily know about my reply. I simply catered my message to anybody who asked for help. I put them publicly instead of a private message, with the hopes that other people could find it and maybe help. I just received an email in my inbox for your reply, which reminds me that even though I have now permanently left this forum due to remarks like yours, I should also de-activate my account. I wish you all well.

[epalma]

I won't take offense to that personally, though I wished to help. The way this forum is designed is that we can receive individual emails for any responses to our original threads. I noticed that many of those people posting requests for help did so some time ago and would not necessarily know about my reply. I simply catered my message to anybody who asked for help. I put them publicly instead of a private message, with the hopes that other people could find it and maybe help. I just received an email in my inbox for your reply, which reminds me that even though I have now permanently left this forum due to remarks like yours, I should also de-activate my account. I wish you all well.

As a person who is trying to overcome fear of flying, i found your post very helpful. Although I've still got a long way to go, I think I'm finally getting to know the fun side of flying. Although it's still far from becoming my favourite activity, I've always thought of flying as (like you said) a trascendental experience, and that is my main motivation for getting rid of the fear and enjoying it. Hopefully i'm going in the right direction.

I feel glad there are still people like you in the forum willing to help fearful flyers to overcome their fears. It would be a pity if you leave the forum.

Thanks again for posting.

[frank825]

I am new to this forum. I checked and I don't think I found an answer to the question I have. I hope this is an acceptable thread to post it in.

I am scared and very uncomfortable with turbulence. Yes, I know it is not dangerous and all that. I took a fear of flying class and was inundated with how safe flying was. Yet, I am still terrified of it.

So, I am trying to work around it. I have read that one is less prone to notice/feel turbulence if one sits either in the wing area or at the front of the plane. At the same token, one feels much more of the turbulence if one sits in the back of the place. So, I would like to try to buy tickets in the wing area.

So far so good. The problem is when I went and tried to buy tickets today. When I went to check seats available, every decent seat in the wing/front area was literally taken except for in the far back. There were premium seats available, but they were all reserved for elite travellers.

It feels frustrating. Does anybody have any advice for how to find seats closer to the wing or in the front? I looked at First Class but it is way too expensive.

Thanks in advance for any help.

[tb_neg]

I've never had to sit far back. Seats were always open, or I would constantly get into my reservation to try and switch, although my experience is pretty much NWA, they would release the front seats 24 hours or the day of the flight or at check in. If you fly SWA, if you online check in at precisely 24 hours before the flight, you get a high boarding order and can get whatever seat you want. Grabbed exits two times easily.

You could always check with the gate agent and see if they can move you up too.

PS: I think the best order is: Over the wing, in the front, in the back.



I have read that one is less prone to notice/feel turbulence if one sits either in the wing area or at the front of the plane.

[Walrusmuse]

the front of the plane always works best for me, but it is not always easy to get into, as are the wings/exits, though it is often not as much of an issue on smaller planes, RJ's, or similar.

another technique i use is to ensure a window seat and notice how little the landscape moves or shakes during even low level turbulence, and it helps me to remind myself the plane is actually happy in the air and not waiting to fall. this is not helpful for everyone, but it is worth a shot. and you get to see the lovely earth!

[frank825]

tb_neg: Thank you for your advice. So I guess I shouldn't feel frustrated just because there aren't any good seats available. I will just try to be ready 24 hours before the flight takes place.

walrusmuse: thanks for your suggestion. I'm not good with window seats as I feel safer with an isle seat if we were to have an emergency. I know, it is very unlikely but it helps. However, I will try to look out the window from my isle seat in case of turbulence. Perhaps that fact that the landscape doesn't move much will provide for some help.

[LLL]

The rear is the safest they say.

Just do yourself a favor, and don't fly. That's what I do. Flying is horrible. You're over 30,000 feet above ground in a metal tube. AMTRAK is the way to go.



I am new to this forum. I checked and I don't think I found an answer to the question I have. I hope this is an acceptable thread to post it in.

I am scared and very uncomfortable with turbulence. Yes, I know it is not dangerous and all that. I took a fear of flying class and was inundated with how safe flying was. Yet, I am still terrified of it.

So, I am trying to work around it. I have read that one is less prone to notice/feel turbulence if one sits either in the wing area or at the front of the plane. At the same token, one feels much more of the turbulence if one sits in the back of the place. So, I would like to try to buy tickets in the wing area.

So far so good. The problem is when I went and tried to buy tickets today. When I went to check seats available, every decent seat in the wing/front area was literally taken except for in the far back. There were premium seats available, but they were all reserved for elite travellers.

It feels frustrating. Does anybody have any advice for how to find seats closer to the wing or in the front? I looked at First Class but it is way too expensive.

Thanks in advance for any help.

[davestack]

The best thing to do, avoid flying. :)

[kucher]

As weird as this seems.. after a harrowing exp I developed a fear of flying. I started watching Mayday TV shows and it showed me that the airlines have so many safety percautions in place, I have more confindence in the plane than in my car!

[D93]

I live in Los Angeles and took a job that had me from flying 0 to flying 150,000 miles per year. I took the suck it up and get over it approach. Now I only find I'm nervous if I haven't flown in a few weeks.

A few bears at Camachos always helps also.

[tek]

Before 9/11 I was able to fly in the cockpit as an air traffic controller as part of an FAA/airlines program to familiarize controllers with the cockpit environment since many new controllers like myself did not have a flying background. I've flown in the jump-seat on 727, 737, 757, 767, L1011, DC-10. The best part was free tickets. But it was fun to be a part of the flight crew. Having forward visibilty in the nose of the plane and knowing who was responsible for my safety eased all my apprehensions about flying. The men and women on the ground separating air traffic and the professionals in the cockpit are first rate, highly trained, motivated, intelligent people who's first concern is passenger and crew comfort and safety. When you are herded into the cabin cut off from operations it is difficult to make this leap of faith. But what choice is there if you want to fly somewhere?

[elektrobank]

Could you send me their info. Thanks!



There are many doctors in our country, very good and caring ones, who specialize in helping people overcome their fear of flying. The one I saw is in the Boston area (I could recommend her if you wish).

[MrsMorton]

I am from the Boston area as well and would very much like that information as well. Is this a hypnotist? Thank you!

[frank825]

I have a question regarding where to sit. I have an upcoming trip to Europe from the US on an Airbus 330-300. I have enough points to upgrade to business class for a seat in either row 3,4,5. Or I can sit in couch in the wing area. My biggest concern is to avoid feeling turbulence, ie have as smooth of a flight as possible. I have read so much that avoiding the back and sitting under the wing is preferrable. Would the wing be a better choice than even Businness Class if turbulence is the biggest issue?

Thanks.

[tb_neg]

In order from best to worst, turbulence wise: Over the wing, front, back. The back is by far the worst, as it'll fishtail due to the tail.

[frank825]

In order from best to worst, turbulence wise: Over the wing, front, back. The back is by far the worst, as it'll fishtail due to the tail.

Thanks.

I will save my miles and go with the wing area instead.

[Capt_Tom_Bunn_LCSW]

With fear of flying, there are VERY few therapists who have the training and experience to deal with it. Cognitive therapy - particularly that developed for fear of flying by Australian Claire Weekes - works for people whose feelings develop slowly, but not for those whose feelings develop too rapidly – or too intensely – for the the mind to remain clear enough to use the cognitive “tools”. What is needed is an automatic way to control feelings.

Medication is not effective. It actually makes things worse. Research on that is at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9299803

Hypnotism is “hit or miss”. It can’t be relied on. Courses by pilots offer statistics on how safe flying. Great. But planes so sometimes crash. How does a person deal with the fear that your flight could be the statistic?

I have specialized in the treatment of fear of flying for thirty years as both a licensed therapist and an airline captain. For the first twenty years, the measures I was able to develop could help most - but not all - people. But with the brain scan research that started about ten years ago, we have new information on how the brain works, and now can help everyone. Here's the background. We are born with half of the emotion regulation system in place, the half that revs us up. The half that calms us down does not exist at birth. By eighteen months a part of the brain develops that can let the child calm itself. The child memorizes the steps caregivers use to provide calming. If the steps are highly effective, the child can calm itself independently using the steps memorized.

Obviously, caregivers – regardless of how much they care – vary in their ability to tune in the child and assure the child effectively. As a result, few of us get an optimal ability to calm ourselves.

During teenage years, we tend to think bad things only happen to others. This youthful optimism gets us by for a few years without excessive anxiety. But as we mature, we realize something can happen to us. We then turn to strategies to keep anxiety when dealing with uncertainty under control. The strategies typically involve control and escape.

Control: when control of anxiety is not naturally available, we depend on control of situations to avoid anxiety. When driving a car, we believe we can make everything work out alright. Though driving is not as safe as flying, we feel safer because the wheel is in our own, not someone else’s hands.

Escape: if there is a car accident, there may be a chance of surviving. If a plane, people mistakenly believe that if something goes wrong they are doomed. In a plane, if something goes wrong, backup systems are used. Backup systems make flying safer than driving. But these systems are in the cockpit where they seem theoretical. Though backup systems provide greater safety in a plane than is available in a car, the systems are not as real to a passenger as a steering wheel is in the hands of a driver.

Since the backup systems are not concrete enough to make passengers feel safe, many try to escape psychologically by keeping their thoughts elsewhere throughout the flight. If, due to turbulence, the person cannot keep the flight out of mind, there is no way to keep feelings under control.

The feelings that develop when flying are caused by stress hormones, mainly adrenalin and cortisol. They rev you up. When you think "what if", you get a “hit” of these stress hormones from each such thought. The build up of stress hormones produces claustrophobia, high anxiety or even panic.

As both an airline captain and licensed therapist, I've worked for thirty years to develop more advanced ways to deal with flight anxiety. I've developed a way to prevent the release of adrenalin and cortisol by causing the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin shuts down the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers the release of the hormones that cause fear.

We cause the release of oxytocin by linking each thing that happens on a flight, and each thing you worry about, to the memory of a moment that causes oxytocin to be released. Once the links are established between an oxytocin-producing moment and troublesome moments of flight, high anxiety and panic are automatically controlled. This is an advanced way of controlling the feelings, and it was not possible to do this until research using brain scan technology showed us how the brain works.

The way I understand the cause and cure of flight anxiety is posted in a 18 minute video at http://fearofflying.com/store/free-video.shtml

[pt148]

Just to clarify a point on the study showing that medication increased panic response: In addition to the usual point that this was a single study of 28 people, that study showed that using Xanax for one flight was followed by increased panic response in a different flight a week later without Xanax. It didn't show an increased panic response while taking Xanax.

(Basically, the study suggests that while Xanax is effective in the moment, taking it will make you more dependent on it in the future. Xanax is addictive, so this isn't too surprising.)

[Capt_Tom_Bunn_LCSW]

Though medication may work on the ground to relieve anxiety by slowing down cognition, reflective function in particularly. When awareness of ones own thinking is reduced, conflicts that cause stress become less prominent, thus reducing inner stress. But anxiety when flying is not about conflict. It is about uncertainty. When flying, loss of reflective function - the mind's quality control system - may cause the person to become unable to differentiate what is feared from what is factual.

When medicated, what is feared is more easily believed to be happening. For example, in turbulence, an unmedicated passenger should be able to recognize the plane, moving both up and down, is at the same altitude throughout a turbulence encounter. But when medication has slowed down their ability to observe and reflect on their own thinking, a passenger who fears the plane will fall, notices only the downward feelings and not the upward feelings. Thus the person easily believes the plane is falling.

After the flight, the person truly believes the flight nearly crashed. They believe medication enabled them to endure the terror of a near-death experience. Additional medicated flying only increases the trauma, until the person becomes unable to fly, believing that every flight is a close call.

[Pixie]

Being xanax'd up on a crazy flight works well for me! Without meds, I pay attention to every bump and chop and it triggers physical symptoms ( increased HR, BP, numbness, tingling,etc) With xanax, there can be chops, bumps, etc and I'm fine. I don't have anxiety issues outside of flying, so I'm not sure if that makes a difference.

[pinworm]

Though medication may work on the ground to relieve anxiety by slowing down cognition, reflective function in particularly. When awareness of ones own thinking is reduced, conflicts that cause stress become less prominent, thus reducing inner stress. But anxiety when flying is not about conflict. It is about uncertainty. When flying, loss of reflective function - the mind's quality control system - may cause the person to become unable to differentiate what is feared from what is factual.

When medicated, what is feared is more easily believed to be happening. For example, in turbulence, an unmedicated passenger should be able to recognize the plane, moving both up and down, is at the same altitude throughout a turbulence encounter. But when medication has slowed down their ability to observe and reflect on their own thinking, a passenger who fears the plane will fall, notices only the downward feelings and not the upward feelings. Thus the person easily believes the plane is falling.

After the flight, the person truly believes the flight nearly crashed. They believe medication enabled them to endure the terror of a near-death experience. Additional medicated flying only increases the trauma, until the person becomes unable to fly, believing that every flight is a close call.

Anxiety, like ALL human experience, is a physiological process. It it hormone and electrical signals and synapses. Psychological conditions trigger it, but treating it with drugs is much simpler and more immediately effective than complex psychological therapies. Benzodiazepines block some of the neurotransmitters that cause anxiety.

I wouldn't worry that Xanax taken now will cause future anxiety on a hypothetical future flight. Most people do not fly enough to make that an issue of any significance.

Take that benzo. Or, grow a set of balls and get over yourselves and your irrational fears.

[dg83]

I hope you all don't mind if I come in on here too. I have had hypnotherapy in the past and it appeared to work for a while, but I am gradually becoming anxious of flying again, particularly long haul and in certain circumstances (over the atlantic, or to places I've not been before). It can build up slowly over a number of days.

I have a very perverse relationship with flying, which I've analysed to the n'th degree. At times I enjoy it, and I agree with previous posters' description of transcendence. But as well as feeling anxious about turbulence, I start to develop this strange, claustrophobic sense of isolation on long-haul flights - it's hard to explain. Like the world is going on without me. Even though I try to entertain myself, or sleep, time slows down incredibly. Add turbulence to that, and it really does make me feel crazy.

Strangely, I seem to develop a traumatic reflex once I've flown, and have difficulty recollecting bad flights I've had in the past.

I'm due to fly from Munich to Canada (atlantic), and then onto Santiago (unknown) this week, so I'm going through all this right now!

[Anthony]

I say get some drugs from your doctor to make you calm down. I really think you need to be in cloud nine and then your flight will be fine.

I was just on 4 long flights and the turbulance was there in some parts of our flight but you just got to sit back relax as best you can and enjoy yourself.

The drugs will just make it easy for you to settle down and after a bit of flying you won't need them to do it anymore.

Have Faith in yourself that you can overcome and you will do it I have faith in you !!!!!

Anthony.............